Retreat on the Island

A Better World - by Elizabeth Lowe

Part 2 - Retreat on the Island

When I arrived on the island, the other retreatants and I were amazed to find our Beloved Guru gathering with His devotees in a way that was more personal than we ever dreamed of. Early in my retreat, I was told that Avatar Adi Da had spoken about me in a gathering the evening before, His voice filled with emotion:

When Elizabeth came here, it made Me weep to see her come into My House. All the suffering of the Jews in her face. It just breaks My heart. All over her face, all over her body. Nobody deserves that. Nobody has ever deserved it. That such a thing should have happened is intolerable.

She brought that face to Me, and now she loves Me, and that is without a doubt. After she left, I went to My room and wept. Tell her I hold her before Me. I cry for her.

After a moment's shock, I too began to weep. I wept to have been so profoundly seen and known and felt, to have a true friend who knew my heart's pain and would enter into it with full feeling, feeling it even more profoundly than I could allow myself to feel it.

I remember that during one of my first occasions of sitting in meditation with Avatar Adi Da, I wept as I found myself sensing the depth of His Love for all beings.

Just as I began to wonder if it was appropriate for me to cry so much during the occasion, I saw the glistening of a tear in the corner of His eye as He ever so lovingly turned His face toward me.

Later that day, I was told more about Avatar Adi Da's passionate words of the night before — His outrage over the death camps.

He had said:

What right does anyone have to say "You go to the left, and you to the right"?

The horror, the dehumanization of humankind for politics. It is still happening. Do not be sympathetic only with the Jews; be sympathetic with humankind and all the terrible circumstances all over the earth this very hour.

It's not a Jewish matter — it's a matter for all humankind. Be angry about it and straightforward about it, and don't ever allow it in your face. Don't ever allow it, ever again.

A 'Radical' Lesson in Love

My friends told me that with great force, He had admonished all of us to be outraged, but to love even "that bastard, Hitler." At a later event, He spoke of Hitler again, of the necessity to love and forgive him in the midst of our refusal to let such things ever happen again.

The following Thursday, He called us all to see Him in the shade of a tree outside His Residence. Some of us had completed our retreat that day and were leaving that night.

He rested His Gaze on us, one by one. After a while, He nodded that it was time for us to go, but we just could not tear ourselves away, nor did Avatar Adi Da seem to really want us to leave.

Taking a cue, first one, then another, we asked for and were granted Avatar Adi Da's Blessing. He placed specially made retreat shawls first over His own shoulders, and then, with great intention, over two devotees' shoulders, and Embraced the other departing retreatants with great Love.

Finally, it seemed to be truly time to go, and we got up to leave. I had broken my ankle earlier in the retreat and was on crutches, but addressed Him and blurted out, "This is what my parents took me out of Europe for — to experience this moment in Your Company."

An Eternal Bond

I think I received some sign from Him then, but all I can remember is that I suddenly found myself kneeling in front of His Feet on the chaise, with my head bowed on His Knees. I was weeping and then screaming with enormous force, my hands resting on His Divine Legs for strength and reassurance.

I could hardly believe my own ears as the screams seemed to just fall out of me into the chaise and the ground below, filling the air with the horror that has always resided in me. There was no particular content — just generalized agony over the horrors of the world.

Even as this was happening I also wondered if I should be doing this, and attempted to raise my head! It was then that I noticed Avatar Adi Da's hands firmly on my head and His feet holding me at both sides of my ribcage.

Reassured, I again allowed the process to unfold. Sometimes the sobs and screams turned to roaring rage. And I felt a fleeting concern about frightening the young people who were present. But the force of His Love brushed all concerns away.

Behind me, I heard devotees weeping and praising our Guru as they witnessed this moment of His Great Compassion and purifying Work — not only with me personally, I am certain, but with the whole world.

After many minutes, my sobs and sounds subsided and I raised my head, as Avatar Adi Da relaxed His hold on me. I saw His Huge, Moist Eyes Lovingly Gaze down at me, and words of gratitude and love flowed from me.

I had already said, in the midst of my raging, "You are right, we must rage about this world." Now I told Him how I had always lived life as a great struggle, which I now felt was over — that from now on I could rest in His Divine Presence.

I told Him that I wanted to always be able to look into His Eyes like this, unashamed and free of my past constraints. I told Him that I wanted only to serve Him, and that I wanted to tell everyone about Him.

As I expressed myself, He Was Absolutely Present.

Next: The Lesson of Life

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